My Uncle Paul, Part II

Ok....so today I feel a little better. My emotions last night were just, well crazy. What I have to remember is, my uncle was ready to go. He was in pain...it was his time, ultimately. Although, 52 is WAY to young.

But he finally has peace. The last 40 days of his life he was in the hospital with a tube stuck down his throat. And my uncle was a REALLY talkative guy...the guy who ALWAYS had to tell jokes, and he was damn good at it. So not being able to talk must have been killing him. So, it was time.

Death is Soooooo hard to comprehend...so I'm not going to think about so much right now. I just have to accept it.

But just to give you an idea, my uncle was the type of guy you wanted to be around. He had that spark that just lit up a room...his personality was completely contagious, like a brush fire. And all the places his good humor and love spread over will never be forgotten. He just made you feel good. And that's what I will miss the most. Just the presence of the man.

You finally get to rest in peace, Uncle Paul. You were the coolest uncle...and I will miss you dearly.

My Uncle Paul

How do I even lead into this? I can't really.

My uncle died tonight.

A long time ago I posted about how I was worried about him and his health. He had Hepititus C from using heroin from when he was in his 20's. He had completely turned his life around. He was my favorite, most hilarious uncle. He was 52.

I hate wiriting this post! I hate talking about my uncle in the past tense. But I need to right now.

I am most sad about my cousin...who is 20 like I am, and has just lost a father. I CANNOT fathom.

There's nothing I can really do tonight except hope my dad can fall asleep without crying (Uncle Paul was his little brother) and that my cousin hasn't lost all hope.

There's nothing else I can really say now...except, what was I complaining about earlier? It's all so trivial now.

American's work themselves all day long and forget the most important thing about every day: to cherish life.

I'm Just Saying

This week has not been a good week. Can I just erase it?

And I do not want to walk to class. I wish I had my own space aircraft to fly me to class. And maybe an alien friend name Zernon. Cause that would be cool.

This week sucks!!! Kill me now!!!!

An Easy Laugh

In geology class today, my prof, Mr. Miller, brought up some results of a study:

"Can you all guess the percentage of Americans that still believe that the sun revolves around the earth??..........20% of Americans believe this!"

(Pause)

Then he said with a smirk "And it's the members of our government!"

That made me laugh. And it's probably true (haha). The only branch of the government I actually respect is the Supreme Court. Respect the president? Pa-leeeeeeze.

Mr. Miller always finds a way to insult the government and (sorry to some readers) Texas. But Texas is so easy to make fun of sometimes. And anyway I'm sure you guys make fun of California. We have our problems. I only make fun of you because Bush came from your state. You understand, right?

S.O.L

I have a "fun" test today. Oh, I am "so excited." Don't you accuse me of being sarcastic...I'm simply being ironic.

So, this class is Communications 300...it sounds fun and dandy, correct? It's not. Out of the 7 classes we've had so far I've only gone to 3. I know, that's bad. But when I go, the stupid prof is either bragging about how smart she is or putting students to sleep with her "oh-so-enticing" lectures. And she always pulls these huge vocab words out of her ass to validate her intelligence. I hate people like that.

So yeah, I'm going to take this test after not being in this class for like 2 weeks. Eh, whatever. I've saved myself some boring lectures and analogies to MASH (yeah, she actually used that show as an example one class).

So, um, wish me good luck, cause I'll need it.

So Green

I've come to realize that I get jealous easily. That's bad, huh? I really am not a fan of sharing what's mine. But people aren't really possessions...so I can't call them "mine."

I always come to realize faults of mine, but rarely do I know how to fix them. So, yeah...I'm a jealous person. What do I do about it? How do I become un-jealous? Do I even know if I'm more jealous or less jealous than anyone else? Not really.

I keep these thoughts locked inside until they rage. Everyone believes me to have such a laid-back demeanor. And I do. For the most part. But being jealous is hardly a laid-back emotion.

It's not just being jealous of guys I might be dating, if that's what you're thinking. But Best friends are the # 1 cause of my jealousy. When someone is my best friend, I don't really want to share. Isn't that selfish? You can never have one person to yourself.

The best friend I'm talking about is Rachel. Rachel is loved by a lot of people. Her boyfriend is one of them. And I like her boyfriend, he's a nice guy. But do I get jealous when she chooses to spend the night at his apartment instead of ours? Yeah, a little. But I choose to accept it because Rachel loves him...and that's her best best friend.

But there are other friends of Rachel that haven't been good to her in the past, that she chooses to give second chances. And yes, logical Ashley says that, hey, people mess up and deserve second chances. But a inner, more hidden part of Ashley bubbles inside with a different answer.

Probably because I've ALWAYS been there for Rachel. ALWAYS. I've never strayed, I've never betrayed her. But this person has. So I deserve more attention. I AM the better friend.

Again, I am being selfish. And Rachel still calls me her best friend, and not really anyone else (cept her boyfriend, of course). So what am I complaining about?

I don't really know. Being jealous is never a logical emotion. It is more of a protective emotion, a primal emotion, if you will.

Sometimes it's just nice to be acknowledged for the good person that I am. One of the biggest pains a person can ever feel is to be invisible--to not be included or accepted. I've felt that pain in the past once, and maybe it comes back to haunt me. And maybe that's why I'm jealous.

Maybe I need to stop thinking in terms of people leaving me...cause they always come back. They always come back to me because I am a good friend. In the end, that will shine through.

Will this day just end...PLEASE?!

Today has not really been a good day. I had to wake up before I wanted to, I've been way too tired all day, and I just got a bad grade on a paper that was handed back to me. Well, it wasn't so much a bad grade as a "I-could-do-better" grade. That just frustrates me.

Maybe I should just cut off my right arm to solidify the fact that my day sucks. Then at least I'd have an excuse to not take notes during class.

alifjsoaifjpodsifjawoirj pawojrdiosajrsjaoisjfroisfj....that made me feel better. Just getting my aggressions out virtual style.

I think that I'm going to go lay down right now and NOT do any homeowrk. I'm just gonna go watch Pirates of the Caribbean and daydream a bit about Orlando Bloom.

Oh! That's right. There was one good thing that happened today. I talked to that cute, witty guy in class today (very briefly, but better than nothing). And he studied abroad in Italy before and speaks it fluently. I was like, "cool! I speak italian, too. But not as well as you, obviously." So yeah. But that was all of like 2 minutes. But it's cool anyway.

Following the Leader

These little games are amusing, so I'm following Vince's instructions and having a little fun on the side:

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find you 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

So, my 23rd Post is titled "Silencio!" and the 5th line states: "Can't we just make it 32 hours or something?"

Yes, I am a nut job. Why do I do these things? Because they defer me from doing actual work. As far as tagging 5 people...if you want to...I tag Thomas, Cindy, Hatleyman, Anthony, Gangster, and Matthew...I know, that's 6. But all you people are cool. And Michelle, haha, if it's your thing, you can do it too.

Have fun...we're following the leader, the leader, the leader, we're following the leader wherever he may go! I just had to sing that song.

I Want to Take a Trip to Napland

Ever have those days where you're just tired? I'm having one of those days. I worked all weekend--basically no fun to be had for me. And now I'm back starting classes on this Monday morning.

I've been awfully reliant on coffee. I even believe my coffee addiction is rubbing of on my roomates. Mwahahaha! All part of my master plan for caffiene-addicted zombies to take over the world!!! Oops, did I blurt that out?

See? I am tired. I am getting ridiculousy delirious. Everything is funny to me right now. I can definitely see how tiredness is a lot like drukeness. Which is why you shouldn't drive when you're either of those.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, sleep...sweet sleep. Where for art thou? Maybe I can fit in a nap after my 9:00 am class. But I have too much on my mind. And I was never good at naps in the first place--I rarely take them.

I'll just continue to drink my artificial energy until that energy boost wears thin. Then I'll just pass out. Sounds like a plan.

Here are my girls:

Green is hot! Well, at least I liked the green shirts.

We are a smaller chapter and we like it that way. Plus, we're so freakin' cute!

Witty Nice Guys vs. Assholes...NOT a hard choice

Yes, I am procrastinating yet again. Blogger is a means to destruction, let me tell you.

Right now, I am supposed to be reading "Song of Roland" and writing a one page response on it. And it can't be a bullshit response, cause the prof is the department chair and he'll see right through it. So it's funny that I haven't started it cause it's due at 12:30 today. Yeah, I'll get on that soon.

But right now I'm drinking coffee (yeah, BIG surprise) and listening to Lenny Kravitz seranade me. Heck yeah, Lenny! Thus, I have no time for a silly narrative poem and a response.

Eh, I'll get to it eventually. Plus I like this class. The prof is funny, I have a good friend in it (michelle) and there's a guy I think is cute in it.

And if you must know, I don't go for the cocky bastards. I go for the nice, slightly-sarcastic, incredibly witty guys that can hold a conversation. And that can make me laugh. I just wanna clear up that myth that all girls go for the hot assholes that will treat you like shit. Not I, said the procrastinating coffee drinker.

I want humor, simply. And someone who is caring.

But, yet again, it's funny that I'm thinking about relationships when I DON'T have time for one. We'll see.

Dammit. It's the end of the post, which means I have to read that damn poem.

Silence: The Loss of Liberty

It makes me sad that over 50% of Americans feel the press has too much freedom.

It makes me sad to know that after 9/11, many journalists were afraid to criticize the government for fear of being labeled as unpatriotic.

Don't people realize?

If we didn't have free press, we wouldn't have democracy. Information provided through newspapers gives the public a forum of sorts--to discuss the government, to share information, and to simply be informed.

Without press, without information--dictatorships form. How can people even think that the press has "too much power and freedom?" It makes me mad.

This is why I could NEVER be conservative. A friend once told me "Don't worry Ashley, you'll grow out of your liberalism." What?! There's no way! I have too much personal invested energy in the fight for your right to SAY WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO. Whether I disagree with it or not. You could write an article on your mission to become a Satanic Leader and take over Iowa. I would think you were crazy, and I probably wouldn't be your friend. But, dammit!!!! You have freakin' right in this country to say it!!!!

And people want to take that freedom away?

If you start taking away the freedom to call George W. a dumbass, then democracy and all it emcompasses will fade.

My pet peeve is when conservatives complain about the "liberal press" bashing the government. We have every right to express our opinion on the president and his cabinent! A journalist's duty is to be a watchdog of the government and act as a fourth branch to level out the 3 branches. Journalists are there for the people. And some people think we have too much freedom?

Well, those people are the biggest cry babies I've ever met. If you're gonna have a person in a place of power--conservative OR liberal--they better be fucking ready for criticism. If you're gonna cry about that criticism, GET the fuck out of office. You're not made for a leadership role.

It just makes me mad--I'm sure you can tell. Think about places ruled by dictators, places where people were treated as slaves, places where too many were killed. Think about how those places could have been saved if there had been free speech.

If you take away a human's right to speak freely, to speak what they know inside, you take away their heart and the death of the spirit occurs.

America needs to take notice. America needs to be more informed.
*********************************************************************
It's funny cause my posts are usually light and free, but I felt like this is an important topic, one that cannot be ignored. This is the reason I've come to be interested in Journalism. I have the power to open someone's eyes through freedom of speech, through the sharing of information. Without information, the public will remain in silence.

So please people--be GRATEFUL for the 1st Amendment. Be damn grateful that it was put into the Bill of Rights--and know that it was put there for a reason.

Relax!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, HUGE sigh of relief. HUGE, people.


My hell week is over. I know it's only wednesday, but Rush is over, therefore I am no longer in hell. And the fact that the house caught on fire? Yeah, that only validates that I was in the eternal underworld of Hades.

Not anymore, suckas!!!!!

Soooooooon, I will get to meet our new members. And I love that part. That is the most exciting and ONLY thing I like about Rush.

I get to see them soon! I get to see them soon! I am excited!!!

Oh, but damn! I have a midterm today. SO I can't be too excited.

But I am anyway! Yes!!

Holy Smoke!

This fucking week is never gonna end, will it?

So, you all know how much I'm not a fan of Rush. Today was supposed to be the last freakin day of it. Hahahaha! Life is funny.

We were having our first party with the first group of girls, when people come bursting into our house screaming, "GET OUT! There's a fire next door! We need everyone to evacuate!"

Did madness ensue? Yes. Was the fire big? Yep, that baby burnt down the whole inside of the house. Huge flames were shooting out from the balcony, flames that stood around 8 feet high. Journalists got there in about 5 minutes (that was bad ass).

Here is the footage, in case you wanna see.

The part I'm complaining about? We're going through rush tomorrow, after all this crap. I know, I'm being selfish...but dammit, I want this week to end!

At least no one got hurt. Everyone was safe and all right. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I am tired! I can hardly type any more. I might talk more about this tomorrow...you know, after I take my Italian test I haven't studied for, after I read up for my Journalism Midterm I don't have time for, and...oh yeah, another day of rush.

Well, you gotta have bad weeks to have good ones, right?

All I can think about is that song "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!"

a needed catharsis

Man. This week has been hectic and too insane for words. My head is in pain from this whirlwind/hurricane of a week.

Rush has never been my favorite. Rush has always been fake and sucky, and I've always known this. But last night, I broke down crying. I just cried and cried. Not because of Rush, but because I found out that my sister may be having a miscarriage.

I wasn't sad about the baby, per se, but more about my sister and her health. The baby was only really a month old...and right now we're not sure if it actually is a miscarriage, but she is having complications.

My sister is alright, as far as I know this moment...but the combination of rush, no rest and the phone call about my sister set off my tears.

But I feel better. Crying always does that. And I don't cry often...so when I do, it is completely a release. I just kind of curled up on the couch, looked up at the black hole of a sky and let my tears fall down...and finally my mind felt as open as space, floating around in the stars.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Everything is fine. It's simply funny how the body works, how sometimes you just have to let your emotions take over. If you don't, you'll find yourself going insane.

Ahhhhhh, sigh of relief.

Just One of the Guys

I really like hanging out with "the guys," I've come to realize. There's an apartment of guys next door and I wander over there whenever I'm bored and/or seeking amusement. Forget T.V., these guys are my entertainment.

Sure, they're usually playing video games (and I've come to know quite a few titles: Counterstrike and Grand Theft Auto), but they are fun. And laid-back. And I've always been a laid-back kind of girl.

I'm not one who thrives off of drama. To say I don't gossip would be lying--but I hate cattiness and superficiality.

So sometimes it's good to lay back with the guys, eat a burrito, watch some Southpark, wipe off my make-up and freakin' play some damn video games.

It feels damn good to do all that.

But don't get me wrong--I wouldn't give up being a girl, "cause girls, they wanna have fun."

Oh, and don't worry. We do.

A Different Skin

I want to sleep, but I'm up right now. Not a good mix. That's when coffee really becomes my friend, just in case you're wondering. I love artificial energy.

Have you ever wondered before (of course you have) how how life would have been if you had made different choices?

I do all the time. What if I hadn't gone to San Diego State? What if I hadn't joined a sorority? Blah blah blah blah blah...my head is always filled with too many thoughts.

Do you think we make up the phrase "Things happen for a reason" to make ourselves feel better about the situations we're in?

None the less, I still believe in that phrase. I'm not unhappy where I am...I just have to wonder what it would have felt like to have a different life. YES...I am human.

I CANNOT believe all the homework I have, so I should start that...you know, while I have this artificial energy and all.

Ciao bello!

About "Boyz"

Heh. I'm playing "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men right now. Don't ask me why. I really don't know. And I hate when people mispell words and/or use bad grammar. For example, spelling "boys" as "boyz."

I know, I'm weird.

My voice hurts right now. I'm sick and I talked to like 30 girls yesterday. Craziness!

And why am I still sick? It's been two weeks of sniffling and coughing. Boyz II Men feels my pain, they're singing me the blues right now.

I'm excited/sleepy. Is that possible? Yeah, I think it is.

I'm babbling, huh? I do that often. Sorry for my incoherent, silly, insane posts. They don't make much sense. But that's who I am, that's my personality.

I'll end this with my boys from "Boyz" II Men: "And so we've cooooooooome, to te ennnnnnnnnd of the rooooooooooooooaaad, still I caaaaaaaaaaaan't leeeeeeet you go!"

Finders Keepers

I lost my ring. It's not expensive, but it's cute and I want it to magically reappear. It has this little turquoise heart on it. Ring, where are you?

I'm one of those girls that is pretty organized, but I always misplace certain things: my keys and my jewelry. ALWAYS. And then I spend like 30 minutes looking for them. And that's not cool when looking for keys, say, when I'm in a hurry.

I wish someone would invent one of those beeping devices to stick on my keys--you know, the ones they put on cordless phones? God knows I need it.

AHHHH! And today is rush...chaos ensues. In a few short hours I will meet, oh, say....40 girls, or so. Yeah, see if I remember all their names. Sure.

oh, I need chocolate.

Not Your Typical...

So, I believe I have mentioned before that I'm in a sorority, correct? Well, if not, I am. It's called Sigma Kappa. Plus, that little picture in the right corner--that has my letters on it...it case you're interested.

When I first meet people, I usually don't tell them straight away that I'm in a sorority. That's because, if I do, right AWAY I get stereotyped. There's all these preconceived notions about sororities--I don't really have to list them, you probably have them in your head right now.

But one my sisters said it best when she said, "Our sorority is not typical. We don't like doing typical sorority things. We like the idea of a sorority, but not a typical sorority."

And that's true. And when I tell people that I'm in one, after they've known me a couple weeks, they looked surpirsed. That look of shock is often followed with "Wait. No. Ashley, you're in a sorority?"

I always laugh. That's why stereotypes don't work.

So, you might understand my frustration at this moment when I say that Rush is coming up. Tomorrow. Rush is a complete, stupid, horrible, typical sorority activity. And we don't like it. But we go through it, every year. It's the only plan in place that gives you members, so we're forced in a way.

My biggest stress at the moment is the amount of homework I have to finish with no time to do it...cause all my time is going to Rush. *Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

With that said, I love my girls. If you met them, you'd be surprised--we are the coolest ever. We're not shallow, we're not ditzy, we're not arrogant. We are Sigma K...an alternative choice to the intellectually void and superficial "typicial" sorority girl.

A few things:

Cause sometimes I feel like being random...

• MY GOD! Girls can be such drama queens sometimes!! It's good that I don't have a gun, cause I might just shoot off all the whiny people.

• I love my friend Michael. We were at work the other day, and I can't remember the context of the conversation, but I said something like "Treat me like the princess I am!" And he said, "Well...you're not a princess," and before I could get a disgusted look on my face, he added, "You're a queen!" I love my gay guy friends, you can't replace them.

• If you like Dr. Pepper, consider buying Dr. Thunder. Yeah, that's right. I said Dr. Thunder, suckers. Rachel bought some from Walmart the other day. Same great taste for 54 cents! WOO HOO!

• Life is beautiful. Sometimes I complain, and convince myself that it's not. But it is. I tend to forget that every now and then. You should take some time and realize the beauty as well.

I ♥ my roomates

Really I do. There are times when we may bicker. You, know those times when we're in a bad mood and such, and take it out on each other.

But we really get along. And we really work well together. And we're all clean. I'm not a clean freak, not by any means...but I hate it when I live with dirty, messy people. And I did last year. And I love those people, but GOD I couldn't live with them. They live next door to us--in a messier apartment (haha).

One of my roomates, Stefie, went over there a few weeks ago and noticed a chore list on their refridgerator. Stefie asked: "You have a chore list?!"

Deidra(one of the girls in the "messier apartment") said: "Yeah. How else would we get chores done? Like, when your trash is full and stuff. Who takes it out?"

Stefie: "Uhhhhhhhhh, whoever notices it's full."

Deidra: "Oh. But what about when your dishes are dirty?"

Stefie (almost laughing at this point): "Whoever sees the dirty dishes!"

When Stefie told me about this little conversation, I couldn't stop laughing. What is simple to one person is obviously complicated to another person.

Therefore, I love my roomates. Plus, Rachel (my other roomate) and I made breakfast for dinner last night. Pancakes, hash browns, eggs w/cheese, bacon and orange juice. That was the best part of my day. And we took a picture-- we were proud of ourselves.

And then we did the dishes. Cause really, people, cleaning is just not that hard.

I loooooooooooooooove my roomates. They put a smile on my face and are my family when I am away from home. Who could ask for anything more?

My Friend Mr. Sudafed and Mr. Kleenex

I feel like, hmm...how should I put this?

I feel like my head is trying to explode. It is so full of flem and bacteria, it would like to explode, really. Sorry, that was gross. But the truth, my friends, the truth.

Being sick is not fun. I have so much to do, but none of the energy to do it.

But I did go home yesterday. There's something about home that provides instant comfort to the soul. Although I love my friends, they're not going to be obesessed with the idea that I'm sick--but my parents will. My parents will worry, and feed me, and nag me to eat more vegetables, and tell me again and again "to take care of myself" and make me cups of tea. And I love every minute of it.

I need to get better, though. Rush is this week. I have tests this week. My life is chaos this week; therefore, I need to be 100 perrrrrrrcent. And I bet I can get better, just by knowing that I have to.

Alright, I'll stop boring you with my snot stories. Hope all of you aren't suffering through the common cold, and I hope at least one of you is thinking of a cure for it. I would love you forever.

Time is not on my side.

Today hasn't been the best day. I've been sick all day, and unenergetic. I just feel like...blah.

I still feel as though I have this tremendous weight on my shoulders. Am I taking on too much?

I kind of wish there was no such thing as time, no such thing as a 24-hour day. If I want my day to be 500 hours, why can't it? Of course I'm not going by moon or sun cycles what-so-ever.

I don't think Americans give themselves enough time to rest. It's all about who can create things the fastest and the best--we are a society completely focused on time. It's when I stop following the ticking clock and sit back and just watch nature--leaves rustling, water sliding down a rock--that I feel relaxed and happy. Clocks just irratate me. It's either I'm waiting for a certain time or I don't want a certain time to come.

It's times like these I really hope there is something better out there than what's here on earth. Whether your religious or not, you have to kind of hope. To think of a place where everyone is so eternally content, you don't need time. I hope it exists.

Center of Hell

I'm coming down with a cold, I can feel it. You know that itchy/scratchy feeling you get in your throat that just doesn't go away? Yep, I have that. Not to mention that I used about 500 tissuses already. It's funny to sneeze in classes and see who says "bless you" and who doesn't.

Oh, and I have cramps. The splendidness of being a girl.

But besides all these trivial things--I am deeply saddened by all the news of New Orleans. The death toll should not be this high. Somewhere, something failed--our system failed. The fact that there was a wherehouse full of people waiting to be saved, all of which have drowned now, well that shows us that something has failed.

I'm not just another liberal blaming the government for it's lack of service, rather I'm sitting here as a human, commenting on the whole of the human race.

We always worry about ourselves, don't we?

There are people who worry about others. And I'd like to think that I am one of them. I think. But who is to know what I would actually do in such a situation? I'd probably be selfish--save myself and my family and my friends before others.

It's depressing to think about it, so I'm gonna stop. I'm just gonna shut it off right now so I don't start crying. The ones I feel for right now are the people from New Orleans--those who can't shut it off. How can you hide from the flames when you're standing in the center of hell?

Me Like Waffles

I wish I were an English kid, cause then I could use cool words like "wankster" and "bullocks." Americans don't really have cool words. Why can't we be cool dammit???!

I missed my first class today. I know, it's really early in the semester. BUT--I really wanted waffles. And class was gonna start in like 10 minutes. So I had to make a choice. Waffles or Class.

I made the right choice. Leggo my Eggo! I sat there, eating my waffle while watching some sappy part of a Walk to Remember.

I'm such a chick. I love it though.

ahhhhh! My Brain Hurts!

I have been studying ALL DAY LONG. Italian to Humantities. YOU try reading "City of God" by St. Augustine and interpreting all of it, dammit!!!!!!!!!!! It takes awhile.

I can see already that this will be my most challenging semester academically. So far, at least. My brain really is in pain.

Therefore, I can't write much else, or I will internally combust. Poof!

But one more thing:

Michael Buble, WHY ARE YOU SO HOT? And stop trying to seduce me with that smoldering stare. Actually, don't stop! Can I have your babies? PLEASE?

ahh...that was desperate Ashley coming out. HE brings it out. Suddenly my headache has surpassed. Michael's good looks took it away.

The Cuteness of it All

Disregard my last post. See how girls have move swings? I got an apology from my roomate and I feel better.

And this is too cute for words...my friend sent it to me. READ IT CAREFULLY IF YOU'RE A GUY, cause I agree with every word (wink, wink):

Pick her up and pretend your going to throw her into the pool...she'll scream and fight you but secretly she'll love IT! Hold her hand while you talk to her, and hold her hand when you drive. Tell her she looks pretty. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her and tell her dumb jokes....tickle her, even if she says stop. Dance with her good or bad. When she swears at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms and you fall asleep in hers. *When youre with your friends, treat her the same, dont ignore her. Get her mad, and then KiSS her. Tease her, let her tease you. Stay up with her when she is sick. Kiss her forehead. Let her wear your clothes. Kiss her in the rain. And when you realize you love her, tell her.

pressurized

I feel like taking a walk right now. But it's not safe walking outside at this time when you're a girl (guys--count your lucky stars).

I just feel like my head is FULL of pressure right now. Building and Building, Faster and Faster. My roomates seemed pissed off also, so I don't really want to talk to them.

W H A T E V E R.

Writing helps. I really wanna take a walk though...but without anyone.

Maybe I can just drill a hole in my head to release the pressure.

School, work, rush, school, dealing with attitudes...TOO much.

Little Rant of Mine

Bad News: I just found out that Rehnquist died. That sucks.

Good news: This article made me feel good. There are people who can make the best out of a disaster. On that subject, my friend's dad recently went over to New Orleans (he's in the military), and called back the other day to say "It's worse than it looks in the papers, it's worse than hell."

Oh, and my uncle's is STILL waiting for a liver. I feel like he's barely holding on. Why does it seem like death is surrounding me lately? He is on the top of the list now...again I feel weird saying someone else should die for my uncle. But I'm being selfish...how can I not in this situation?

Another thing: Bills really suck. They are a pain. Plus, because my apartments are newly built, we don't have mailboxes yet. Dandy. The construction workers are downstairs, putting in palmtrees....BUT NO MAILBOXES! Sure, I want the place to look pretty, but I need my mail first. Why must people be so incompetent and stupid...like the idea to rebuild New Orleans...again I say, it's stupid. You wanna reinforce the idea of having an American Atlantis, well then...go for it. Otherwise (this REALLY isn't hard), build the city fucking above sea level!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I feel better now. I ranted about all I wanted to. I actually am happy today, contrary to what you might think. Take a moment to realize: it LABOR DAY! Wooooooooohoooooooo! Ashley is going shopping (although she has more bills to pay). This is the life.

Random Saturday Morning

I've always loved Saturday mornings. Remember this scenario: You're 1o years old. It's Saturday morning. You get up, pour yourself a bowl of hearty Cap'n Crunch, and sit your little 10-year-old butt down to watch "educational shows." Or, er....cartoons. Oh, and you rocked out to SchoolHouse Rock, always singing the eternal question--"Conjunction, junction, what's your function?"

Did we get an answer? Oh yes, we got an answer. Thank you School House Rock.

So now I'm sitting here. Not doing much. I have to work later today. And I'm procrastinating my homework, already. It's hard to get back into the flow of homework, especially in the mindset of 17 units, especially on a 3 day weekend.

But you gotta start somewhere.

When I was 10, I used to think 20 was SO OLD. Well, I'm here now, and frightened as ever. I'd like to go back to those days when all I had to do (or all I was asked to do) was play and watch cartoons. Now, more is expected from me. But it's exciting and fun and many ways. And I like it.

Imagine having all the world in your hands and no idea what to do with it, but with all the freakin' possibilities you could dream of. That's more exciting than any super fast rollercoaster you could show me.

WHY?

WHY would you try to rebuild a city that is STILL below sea level? WHY would you waste THAT MUCH money to rebuild this city when it can be flooded again, just as easily? WHY WHY WHY?

Does this not make sense to anyone else? What's wrong with the idea of rebuilding New Orleans in a different part of Lousiana? This is not a game of showing nature that we can beat it and that "we won't go down." Nature ALWAYS beats us.

It just doesn't make sense to rebuild New Orleans in the same spot. Mr. PRESIDENT....think about it dammit!

I think I can, I think I can...

I'm listening to one of the most dramatic, sappy songs ever: Against All Odds. But Phil Collins is my man. And I like this song. No, I won't apologize.

My Humanities class is the shiz-nit (white girl alert!). I am SO excited for it. Geology, Humanities and Journalism are my home dogs right now. Hecks yeah!

Communications and Italian, however, right now I am not fond of you. And it's not the subject. It's the teachers. It truly is "Tainted Love." Which is the song I have now switched to. Cause normally I love these subjects, but damn you professors!

Jesus Christ, Communications 300 is boring. To the point I want to shoot myself. And Italian has been way too time-consuming.

Maybe this will change. Hopefully it will change. I think I will do well this semester. Ashley has a 3.2 and would like to raise her grades. I CAN do better.

Um...How did my classes go, you ask?

Italian will be the death of me. And if that doesn't kill me, then Journalism 300 will finish me off.

Yesterday my Italian professoressa assigned us 14 freakin pages of homework! I wanted to KILL myself. And in my Journalism class, well....what can I say? Here's a excerpt from the syllabus:

"The writing projects will include an expository principle applied to practice paper, 2 case study response papers and a descriptive science journalism project (finding patterns and analyzing current practice, incontext, with principles)."

I just didn't anticipate this class, which I though was solely a lecture class, to have so many writing projects.

I just always tend to forget that classes get harder as you advance in school. Haha. Silly me.

But don't get me wrong. I am still excited. My geology class is kick-ass. My teacher said this about the middle of the earth: "The middle of the earth is hot. And do you know why it's hot kids? Cause that's where hell is!" Haha! That cracked me up. That teacher may be the most sarcastic teacher I've ever had. And...I always end up liking my journalism classes...even if I complain.

Then there's Comm 300, where all the lady did was brag about how hard her class was. Whatever woman. And today, I have Humanities 401. I'll tell you how that went later.

I still feel like maybe I took on too much. We will see. If my hair turns gray, that's a yes.