9.30.2007
Chopity-Chop
Yeah, I got a new haircut. One, because yeah--I think girls do get haircuts during transitional times in their lives (refer to post below) and Two, because I get haircuts often anyway...I am a girl who desires change.
9.29.2007
To Everything, There Is a Season
Turn Turn Turn.
Ok, so about my friend J that I've talked about most recently here.
I finally reached a breaking point and told him that I can't see him for awhile...by awhile I mean a few months, or more. Until I feel like I can again.
I realized what I knew already: I need lots of time away from him. This is so I can truly get over everything and truly forgive him. I love him, and I want to truly forgive him for everything.
I never ever thought I would find myself in this kind of situation in life. But that's why I love the Byrds song (they sang it, right?):
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together...
Ok, so about my friend J that I've talked about most recently here.
I finally reached a breaking point and told him that I can't see him for awhile...by awhile I mean a few months, or more. Until I feel like I can again.
I realized what I knew already: I need lots of time away from him. This is so I can truly get over everything and truly forgive him. I love him, and I want to truly forgive him for everything.
I never ever thought I would find myself in this kind of situation in life. But that's why I love the Byrds song (they sang it, right?):
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together...
This is the only way for me to move on. This is the best decision I've made in a long time.
9.26.2007
Little Beasts
So, normally I love children. But certain children at the center I work at are starting to get on my nerves. Probably cause some of these children have been possessed by demons and are trying to steal my soul, or something like that.
Having to watch over a table of eight five-year-olds during lunch and force them to be polite and clean is a harder task than you may think. Sometimes, it makes me want to rip out my eye balls.
I'm just a little frustrated today because the kids, I swear, were all on meth--climbing up the walls and nonsense like that.
I'm a month into this job--I think that's probably the normal time frame in which you start to consider keeping it or not. Hmmmm....
Having to watch over a table of eight five-year-olds during lunch and force them to be polite and clean is a harder task than you may think. Sometimes, it makes me want to rip out my eye balls.
I'm just a little frustrated today because the kids, I swear, were all on meth--climbing up the walls and nonsense like that.
I'm a month into this job--I think that's probably the normal time frame in which you start to consider keeping it or not. Hmmmm....
9.23.2007
He Knows Heartache
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
waking up is the hardest part.
So true, John Mayer, so true.
waking up is the hardest part.
So true, John Mayer, so true.
9.21.2007
My Forecast
There's supposedly a storm a'comin to San Diego, and it gets me all giddy inside. I love rain. I envy the midwest with their elaborate thunder storms.
This week was interesting, this week was weird, this week was good, all rolled into one.
My friend J--yeah, the one that robbed me of my heart--he apologized for, well...everything. It started out with me telling him he's been a bad friend lately (which he has) and then all my anger coming out for all the leading on he did in the past (oh, and he REALLY lead me on). It's kinda a long story, but today, he held me while I cried about it.
I was about to kick him out of my life. Looks like that's not going to happen. There seems to be some people in your life that will never leave you, and you could never leave.
Life is just strange. At least I'm no longer sad about it...I'm in a transitional kind of phase.
I'll be moving on...this sadness is just a big ol' thunderstorm, causing some commotion in my life, causing some "rain" to fall on down, but it will clear up. It always clears up.
This week was interesting, this week was weird, this week was good, all rolled into one.
My friend J--yeah, the one that robbed me of my heart--he apologized for, well...everything. It started out with me telling him he's been a bad friend lately (which he has) and then all my anger coming out for all the leading on he did in the past (oh, and he REALLY lead me on). It's kinda a long story, but today, he held me while I cried about it.
I was about to kick him out of my life. Looks like that's not going to happen. There seems to be some people in your life that will never leave you, and you could never leave.
Life is just strange. At least I'm no longer sad about it...I'm in a transitional kind of phase.
I'll be moving on...this sadness is just a big ol' thunderstorm, causing some commotion in my life, causing some "rain" to fall on down, but it will clear up. It always clears up.
9.17.2007
A Tribute:
My good friend Jaclyn has left for Tennessee...I just thought I'd post a few of our greatest (er, weirdest pictures) in order to remember all the good times. Miss ya Jack!
♥
♥
9.15.2007
If You're Bored...
I stole this from Ex-Everything...
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Unfortunately...a soap opera character on the Young & The Restless. What was my mom thinking?
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The other day. I think I'm at a time in my life where I'm crying more than usual though. It's ok, it will pass.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah. I was blessed, what can I say? :)
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey if I have to eat lunch meat...definitely not my favorite. Welllllll, salami is pretty darn good.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? There is NO REASON to have kids at my age!!!!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I believe so. I'm pretty trustworthy...and a dork. Come on, dorks make good friends.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Nooooooooooo, never.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? That I do. Probably why I hardly ever get sick. Good job tonsils!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Heck no!!! Heights are NOT my friend.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? That's a hard one...I like Honey Bunches of Oats a lot. As a kid, Rice Crispies were great for the sounds...snap crackle pop, bitches!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? In California, you wear flip flops. That's just the rule.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I'm terribly weak, and too many of my friends take advantage of that fact!!!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip, ohhhhhhh, how I LOVE thee!!!!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes, for sure. Green eyes are beautiful...and brown eyes? Like little puddles of melted chocolate chips. I told you I was a dork, I think of these things!
15. RED OR PINK? Red...what a fabulous bold color!!
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? That I am genuine. Why waste time being fake?
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friend J, like I mentioned before. It's a matter of getting over that. I have faith that I will!!!!
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Light Blue capris and tan flip flops.
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? An AMAZING breakfast with my homie Jaclyn. Scrambled eggs with cheese (and tabasco on top--very necessary), pancakes (with a minimal amount of syrup on top...soggy food=bad food), sausage and bacon. Oh duh...and coffee!!!!
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Amy Winehouse, actually. The song "Back to Black" which sounds like good ol' Motown...I sense The Supremes in her songs.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple (or violet). I adore that dark, luscious color!!
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Gasoline. I have an addiction to perfumes. Vanilla floats my boat. Baked Cookies...mmmmmmm.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The boss lady.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? On TV? Either basketball or soccer...the best sports!
25. HAIR COLOR? Brown/red, right now.
26. EYE COLOR? Blue.
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yeah, oh gosh I have SUCH bad eyesight!!!!
28. FAVORITE FOOD? Spaghetti! With or without Meat-a-balls!
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. Scary movies scare the BeJesus out of me.
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? hahahaha, South Park, Bigger Longer and Uncut. I own it and it is that amazing.
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? It's hard to describe...it's a blue and tan combination...with some brown? You'd have to see it in person.
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Hard one. I hate the summertime in August, cause it's horribly hot!!!!! But the living is easy in the summer. And the winter...well, scarfs are my favorite!! I can't choose!!!
33. HUGS OR KISSES? Both. But hugs more so. I like to be held.
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Simple--chocolate ANYTHING.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? It's all about childrens' books! The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have one right now...mine got ruined while moving.
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I watched part of an episode of Mythbusters. Those crazy mo'fos!
38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Rain for sure! The ocean. The sound of spoons hitting coffee cups at a breakfast place.
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles!!! Although I love the song Honky Talk Woman from the Stones...
40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Turkey. But in a way, that place is a home to me as well.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm really good at drawing.
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? San Diego (like you, Ex-Everything).
Fill this out if you want to, I won't pick people. This is a long one!
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Unfortunately...a soap opera character on the Young & The Restless. What was my mom thinking?
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The other day. I think I'm at a time in my life where I'm crying more than usual though. It's ok, it will pass.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah. I was blessed, what can I say? :)
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey if I have to eat lunch meat...definitely not my favorite. Welllllll, salami is pretty darn good.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? There is NO REASON to have kids at my age!!!!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I believe so. I'm pretty trustworthy...and a dork. Come on, dorks make good friends.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Nooooooooooo, never.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? That I do. Probably why I hardly ever get sick. Good job tonsils!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Heck no!!! Heights are NOT my friend.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? That's a hard one...I like Honey Bunches of Oats a lot. As a kid, Rice Crispies were great for the sounds...snap crackle pop, bitches!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? In California, you wear flip flops. That's just the rule.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I'm terribly weak, and too many of my friends take advantage of that fact!!!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip, ohhhhhhh, how I LOVE thee!!!!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes, for sure. Green eyes are beautiful...and brown eyes? Like little puddles of melted chocolate chips. I told you I was a dork, I think of these things!
15. RED OR PINK? Red...what a fabulous bold color!!
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? That I am genuine. Why waste time being fake?
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friend J, like I mentioned before. It's a matter of getting over that. I have faith that I will!!!!
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Light Blue capris and tan flip flops.
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? An AMAZING breakfast with my homie Jaclyn. Scrambled eggs with cheese (and tabasco on top--very necessary), pancakes (with a minimal amount of syrup on top...soggy food=bad food), sausage and bacon. Oh duh...and coffee!!!!
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Amy Winehouse, actually. The song "Back to Black" which sounds like good ol' Motown...I sense The Supremes in her songs.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple (or violet). I adore that dark, luscious color!!
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Gasoline. I have an addiction to perfumes. Vanilla floats my boat. Baked Cookies...mmmmmmm.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The boss lady.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? On TV? Either basketball or soccer...the best sports!
25. HAIR COLOR? Brown/red, right now.
26. EYE COLOR? Blue.
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yeah, oh gosh I have SUCH bad eyesight!!!!
28. FAVORITE FOOD? Spaghetti! With or without Meat-a-balls!
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. Scary movies scare the BeJesus out of me.
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? hahahaha, South Park, Bigger Longer and Uncut. I own it and it is that amazing.
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? It's hard to describe...it's a blue and tan combination...with some brown? You'd have to see it in person.
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Hard one. I hate the summertime in August, cause it's horribly hot!!!!! But the living is easy in the summer. And the winter...well, scarfs are my favorite!! I can't choose!!!
33. HUGS OR KISSES? Both. But hugs more so. I like to be held.
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Simple--chocolate ANYTHING.
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? It's all about childrens' books! The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have one right now...mine got ruined while moving.
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I watched part of an episode of Mythbusters. Those crazy mo'fos!
38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Rain for sure! The ocean. The sound of spoons hitting coffee cups at a breakfast place.
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles!!! Although I love the song Honky Talk Woman from the Stones...
40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Turkey. But in a way, that place is a home to me as well.
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm really good at drawing.
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? San Diego (like you, Ex-Everything).
Fill this out if you want to, I won't pick people. This is a long one!
9.12.2007
Breakin' It Down
Embarrasing thing that happened today: I walked through the doorway of a house (crowded with people, may I add), tripped on something in the entrance and fell flat on my face on the tile. Smooooooooooth. I got the usual first response, "Are you ok?" and then laughter proceeded. Obviously I was laughing the loudest...what else can you do?
Good thing that happened today: I bowled amazing in my lane...beating all the guys. Helps when you get two strikes in a row. Yeah, I'm bragging...what?
Hard-to-determine thing that happened today: I saw my good friend J twice this week...weird after not seeing him for a few weeks. I don't know what to think about it anymore...it's weird, unsettling and comforting all at the same time when I see him. Does that make sense? Have you heard that song, "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy? Well, I relate with that song...he is an almost lover to me. The closeness we once shared is slowly slipping away now, which is sad, but for the best.
Sorry, I'm rambling...that's because I'm still lost on what to do in this situation...let him completely out of my life? Would you?
Anyway...I got off track. Today was a good day. Oh, and I got to jump on one of those moon bounce things today :) Can you say AWESOME?
Peace Out ♥
Good thing that happened today: I bowled amazing in my lane...beating all the guys. Helps when you get two strikes in a row. Yeah, I'm bragging...what?
Hard-to-determine thing that happened today: I saw my good friend J twice this week...weird after not seeing him for a few weeks. I don't know what to think about it anymore...it's weird, unsettling and comforting all at the same time when I see him. Does that make sense? Have you heard that song, "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy? Well, I relate with that song...he is an almost lover to me. The closeness we once shared is slowly slipping away now, which is sad, but for the best.
Sorry, I'm rambling...that's because I'm still lost on what to do in this situation...let him completely out of my life? Would you?
Anyway...I got off track. Today was a good day. Oh, and I got to jump on one of those moon bounce things today :) Can you say AWESOME?
Peace Out ♥
9.08.2007
Bright Are The Stars That Shine
Listening to "And I Love Her" from the Beatles. I love simple love songs...
I just dyed my hair this auburn/brown/red type of color...it's funny how easily I get bored with my hair. I waste months gorwing it out only to chop it off on a whim. I swear to not color again to avoid damage, only to go buy a box of Clairol Nice N' Easy the next day. I don't believe I'll ever make up my mind.
I've come to this conclusion...there are days when I feel like my world is falling apart, and I cry. And there are days where I'm estatic, and I convince myself I'm over all my issues. Then there are days like today, where I'm somewhere in between. Not sad, not happy, but complacent--knowing, in my heart, that I've gotten better than the day before. But that in itself, makes me smile. It is a feeling of empowerment, over the pain you once felt before...over the person that caused you the pain.
And all of a sudden you feel stronger. I feel stronger.
I just dyed my hair this auburn/brown/red type of color...it's funny how easily I get bored with my hair. I waste months gorwing it out only to chop it off on a whim. I swear to not color again to avoid damage, only to go buy a box of Clairol Nice N' Easy the next day. I don't believe I'll ever make up my mind.
I've come to this conclusion...there are days when I feel like my world is falling apart, and I cry. And there are days where I'm estatic, and I convince myself I'm over all my issues. Then there are days like today, where I'm somewhere in between. Not sad, not happy, but complacent--knowing, in my heart, that I've gotten better than the day before. But that in itself, makes me smile. It is a feeling of empowerment, over the pain you once felt before...over the person that caused you the pain.
And all of a sudden you feel stronger. I feel stronger.
9.04.2007
Those flashing lights come from everywhere...
Ahhhhh!!!!! VEGAS was AMAZING!!! Justin Timberlake was AMAZING!!!! I don't know if I could put it in words...so some pictures...
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