They're Alive!

I KNEW IT...I ALWAYS KNEW IT!

Read this article because it is DAMN funny :)

And have a smashing Saturday!!

A Joyful Life

I've come to a place in mi vida where I'm breathing easier, life is not too stressful or overwhelming or panicked. The livin' is easy...

Sure, I'd like to do more, like move out of my parents' house again (haha...I won't rush the money situation...MUST save), find a job I'm passionate about, possibly move to another state, fufill some dreams (visit Italy!).

But as it stands, my life is pretty sweet right now...I'm 23, and I still have plenty of time to do most of those things. What happened to the Ashley that was more anxious and stressed? Maybe the anxiousness subsided with school. Or maybe the absence of boy drama in my life has contributed to more smiles. No boy drama=a refreshed Ashley.

All I know is, I choose not to worry. I will not worry about finding "husband material." I will not worry about whether I should move. I will not worry about the tick tock of the clock. The best I can do, or you can do, is take things day by day.

"No ear has heard, no eye has seen, no mind has conceived" our future or what is planned for us. Just let the dice land where they may.

And take some time today to smell a flower, or watch a cloud, or dance around the room (basically, I'm encouraging you all to be hippies).

♫ Listening to "Joyful, Joyful" ♫

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes.

And like I change my blog colors/layout. hehehe.

I'm such a chick sometimes! But seriously, like the dark charcoal gray? I got tired of the blue.

I need a new hobby.

Until You're Resting Here With Me

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I have that Dido song in my head...probably because it is the theme song for Roswell. Does anyone remember that show? I remember it for this guy:

I even think his big ears are adorable. Yeah, I said it. Anyway, I'm randomly bringing up this show because I went over to my friend Kendal's (a.k.a. My Zero) house to have dinner and watch a movie.

As she pulled out her dusty box of movies and opened the top flaps, that's when I saw it: The Roswell Series--all three seasons (you know a show is fantastic when it lasts a whole three seasons).

I had a mini-freak out (do I portray my nerdiness well on this blog?) and we proceeded to watch the first three episodes.

The dialogue was...laughable...I mean! It was good, very well-written of course. But putting aside the bad script, the show still had me drawn in. And that's when I realized that I'm a sucker for tortured love affairs, basically anything resembling Romeo and Juilet.

And then I realized HOW MUCH the Twilight series is eerily similar to this show:

[X] Supernatural brooding guy (the guy in Roswell is an alien, guy in Twilight is a vampire)

[X] Unsure, insecure lead girl

[X] Supernatural hunk saves insecure girl

[X] Girl finds out guy's supernatural secret and must keep it to protect him

[X] Supernatural guy's family is uneasy about girl knowing secret, but decides to all work together

I could go on and on...but I'll spare all the silly details. I guess this is a normal formula for a lot of teen books/films/tv shows.

Whatever, I'm just happy I got to experience a little piece of my trivial teen past.

"Cause I won't goooooooo, I won't sleeeeeeeeep, I can't breaaaaaaaathhhe, until you're resting here with me!"

(MAN, what an OVERDRAMATIC song. I love it).

Wake Up Call

There are some moments in life where you get a huge slap in the face. Tonight was one of those nights.

Have you ever experienced something that humbled you so greatly you almost broke into tears?

Earlier today, my friend Jenny asked me if I wanted to go with her to feed the homeless, and I agreed to tag along. Trying to push misconceptions and fears out of my head (although they still stayed in the corner of my mind), I made my way to downtown San Diego to approach druggies, abandoned families, the brokenhearted and the like. Yeah, I was scared shitless, not gonna lie.

We broke into groups of three (two girls and one guy in each group--made sure to play in safe) armed with plates of enchilada meals, and some bible verses for good measure.

I don't know if I can justify the intensity and power of each conversation I had with the homeless, but let me just say that I saw them as people. People with broken souls, people who were frustrated with their disposition, people who straight out asked "How could God do this to us?" And I don't blame them for asking that question.

I was astounded that they even let us talk to them--here we were, middle-class white kids, shiny new shoes on, clean hair, dentist-approved smiles...and they let us talk to them. And...they listened. They really listened to what we had to say. If I were them, I might have kicked our asses right there.

One that really touched me was Jessica: a long-haired Mexican beauty with a rosary around her neck, whose eyes were filled with tears of gratitude. And she let me pray for her. And after the prayer, I saw a tiny spark of hope in those defeated eyes of hers. Even if that spark just lasts for a night, I wanted to show her that there are people who care, and will continue to care (because the one above cares--this I truly believe).

Sorry if I'm sounding preachy here...but I just came back and I am truly touched. I'm not posting this to get a pat on the back, so don't leave a comment like that. I'm posting this because my heart has been a little shaken. I've just witnessed actual people living in tents on the street, and I've actually stopped and talked to those people today, instead of avoiding them like bags of trash on the sidewalk.

How much of a selfish brat am I for complaining about my life!?! There are moments when you realize you really know nothing, nothing about true despair. Not until despair stares you right in the eye.

The Future Casanova

Sometimes I love my job. It's interesting to work with kids and wonder what they'll be like when they grow up. Of course, it's easy to see the young Casanovas. One is named Daniel, who, get this, writes songs and sings them to the class without any apprehensions. He actually thinks of the melody and everything. This boy was even brave enough to sing and dance to Dancing Queen. Daniel is all of 9 years of age.

Today he saunters over in my direction and gleefully grins, saying"Guess what, Miss Ashley? I already have a Valentine!"

I smile for a brief second (over the cuteness of the situation), then fake a pout. "But Daniel...I thought I was your valentine!" I shout.

Daniel smirks, knowing that I am joking, and says, "Well you didn't ask fast enough."

Some boys are obviously born with the charm. Daniel is one of the naturals.

MLK Jr., Thanks for the good weekend.

This weekend consisted of:

• Strolling around Coronado on a beautifully perfect day (it was something like 75 degrees with a slight breeze...ahhh). Coronado is my second favorite place to go to in SD.
  
• Having a sand fight with Ali and her friend Scott. Who is now my friend Scott who rubbed sand in my face (how nice).
  
• Having Scott ask me "Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?" referring to my song choices on the Juke Box. *nervous laughter* Uh, no, Scott. I just really like playing "Living On a Prayer" and "One Headlight" when I'm at bars, that's all.
• Playing free pool at that bar!! I feel like I'm always having to pay for pool now-a-days.
• Making an AWESOME shot to get the 8-ball in and win the game. I am, indeed, a baller.
  
• Watching Mamma Mia!
• Having Mamma Mia! songs stuck in my head all damn weekend.
• Playing Mamma Mia! songs at the bar to torture other people. If I have to suffer, so do you!!
• Helping Ali with her boy problems. Ali is boy crazy (or just crazy?), so this is a full time job.
• Spending time with good friends over some beers and guilty-pleasure musicals. Simply priceless.
  

And after a good weekend, of course I came back to Bush leaving and Obama speaking beautifully (yay for GOOD speeches from presidents).

But why can't 3-day weekends be...longer? Like, why can't they be 4-day weekends? I'm just greedy.

I just can't seem to wake up today.

♫ Listening to "Letter to Elise" by The Cure ♫

Americans Unite...

...in telling Bush to GET THE HELL OUT today. Yay yay yay! This has been a LONG time coming.

This weekend was great...maybe I will tell a few stories later. For now, I am going to watch Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and avoid going to work for as long as possible.

My Lovers

My two greatest celebrity crushes (yes, I realize how much of a teenager I still am) are Justin Timberlake and Paul Rudd. They are the two hilarious, beautiful, hot men I could give up my moral code for.

So HOW STOKED was I two see my two (future) lovers in an SNL skit together?!?

Now, I'm sure some of you have seen this video from SNL. I've only seen clips up until now...here's the whole video:



How can you not love those two?

That's What She Said

I've become more in tune with my job as of late...what I mean is, I'm getting the hang of this! It's definitely more challenging than any other job I've had (since it requires lesson plans, and being a mentor of sorts to the kids)...in my past jobs, I was able to check out mentally. Here, I don't have that luxury.

I'm not keeping this job for a long time...but this is the job that will indicate whether a teaching career is for me. I haven't made my decision yet. And I have to be firm in that decision, since getting your credentials in CA is like going through hell (or so I'm told).

To change the subject, I have a few movie reviews for you:

• Bride Wars: Saw this last night. COMPLETE AND TOTAL CHICK FLICK. This movie is everything that it promises. Guys, you WILL NOT like this movie. Just a warning. It's your typical predictable girl movie. I actually wasn't too fond of it, but because Anne Hathaway was in it (Love her!), I'll still give the movie: ★★ ½
  
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Well, I had to see what the hype was about, and to me, it's just hype. Now I will call it a lovely movie--about love, life and everything in between; however, this movie was SO predictable it was boring at times. I like to be a little surprised when I see a movie. I'm honestly not sure why so many critics gushed over this movie and gave it 4 stars...I give it:★★★
• Gran Torino: I know I've already given this movie it's own post, but I have to mention it again. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go see it...I beg of you!! Outstanding film! A movie that doesn't try to be showy or preachy. It sends a message without trying too hard. The script feels true and pure, and you can't help but get engrossed in this film. Warning: you might cry! I most definitely give it: ★★★★

Alright, that's all for now, folks. Have a lovely, beautiful, outstanding day!!

♫ Listening to "Better Man" by James Morrison ♫

Oh the Places You'll Go!

I need, I must, I lust to go...

• to Italy, and have my favorite food of all time. And discover EVERY INCH of that place!
• back to Turkey, my heart, and see my family. To feel my heritage.
• have a beer in Ireland, and take a ride in the rolling green hills.
• see NYC. Crane my neck to see the super tall buildings and wander around the City.
• to Paris. Who wouldn't want to feel the love? ♥
• take the bull by the horns in Spain (figuratively speaking).
• visit Washington D.C. and say a "What's Up?" to the new Prez.
  
• EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

It's a problem when I'm lacking the moo-lah. This is just my usual once-every-two-month rant about wanting to travel, travel, travel to my heart's desire. It is my true passion.

So when do we leave?

Simply Adorable

The inner 14-year-old me loves this video:



I don't know if any of you even remember this song...ohhhhhh late 90s pop songs :)

I love this guy's version though. And besides Latin boys, I've always had a thing for Asian boys. White boys just don't have much of a chance with me (except for the English ones).

P.S. Today has been a surprisingly good day so far. I've been in a funk the last...week-and-a-half? I guess I'm just a moody brat sometimes. That's when you gotta SNAP! yourself out of it.

Why waste part of my life sulking? If I need to change things in my life I need to just MAKE THE CHANGE. No need to dwell on sadness.

Gravity wants to bring me down.

Some of you will be glad to know that I picked up a copy of High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (on the suggestion of Raindog and Anthony months ago). They didn't have to twist my arms or anything to get me to buy it...it is my favorite movie, after all.

It will be a nice reality check after the absurdness that is the Twilight series...it's hard not to want to find a guy like Mr. Edward Cullen. The problem is...he just doesn't exist. There isn't any person that perfect!!

Anyway, when I finish the book, I'll write about how it compares to the movie.

In other news...I still have the gut feeling that I need to move somewhere new. I can't shake this feeling. Maybe it's not about moving. I just need a bit of a change.

Figuring out life is damn frustrating. Damn Damn Damn Frustrating!!!!

♫ Listening to "Gravity" by John Mayer. ♫

Bravo!

You need to all see The Gran Torino, the movie directed by Clint Eastwood.

I have not, I repeat, have not seen a movie that good in quite awhile. It almost made me shed some tears (and I don't really cry at movies). It was utterly outstanding.

Really, I can't do it justice by writing about it, but you would be a fool not to go see it.

Zombie Ashley

Alright, so I'm not in a bad mood anymore...I just had to blow some steam off last night. Writing always helps.

I'm not really in any mood today. I'm just straight up tired. Grumpy Ashley + staying out late at a record release party + waking up early = Zombie Ashley.

GARRRRGGRRRL! (That was my attempt at a zombie growl/gargling sound. What sound does a zombie make anyway?!?)

So I'm supposed to show SD spirit today and wear Chargers gear (it's "Charger's Day" at the school I work at). Problem is, I don't really watch football, so I do not own any jerseys or helmets or NFL t-shirts. I'm going to have to makeshift it and tape a lightning bolt on a blue shirt. I know the kids will be trying to rip that off all day *rolls eyes*

Maybe I will get zombie on their asses and try to eat some brains.

P.S. Look, I wrote a post everyday this week so far...that is unusual for me! So thanks for listening to my crazy talk, because in a way, you are my therapists.

Good day, all.

No Satisfaction

Ugh. Today was not such a great day.

The rugrats at school were in a violent mood--one kid picked up a chair to throw at another kid in anger...yeah, it was that bad. The whole day was just like that.

After being exhausted, I should have went home, but I went to that record release party I mentioned in a twitter (to your right). The event was fine, but my attitude was not fine; therefore, a million people kept asking, "What's wrong?" and saying, "You're not acting like yourself..."

Do I always have to be happy? Geez.

Yeah, I know, I know. They care, so they ask. blah blah blah. But I'm a person that doesn't want to "share my feelings" when I'm upset.

haha, can you tell my bad mood is not quite gone?

I guess this dissatisfaction is also a result of the mini-freak out I have about my life every month or so...as in, what am I going to do with my life? Where am I heading? Why do I feel I am at a standstill?

I give myself headaches and I need to stop writing and go to bed. And, I need chocolate.

[Breathe]

Violin, I ♥ Thee

WHY is my computer going bone-achingly slow today????? Rhetorical question.

I don't know why I feel like posting so much this week. It's almost how it was when I FIRST got this blog. haha.

I feel like posting today because of a few new songs I've heard that I really like. And I'm noticing a trend. I adore violins in songs. I don't know what it is, but I almost automatically love the song if it has violins in the background. Am I the only one?? So here are a couple videos:

Well this song actually has a Cello in it, if we're gonna be technical. (But close enough). The song is "All Fall Down" by One Republic.



The next song is off the Twilight soundtrack (hehehe). "Full Moon" by The Black Ghosts. This is a great driving song.



This post is super random today. I feel super random today. And with that thought, I leave you with a very special word of the day:

RUFFIAN

webster's dictionary definition: (noun) a brutal person.
urban dictionary definition: An unattractive member of the opposite sex.
Chris: How was last night?
Mark: It was great, I pulled a real fittie, but Josh was left with her RUFFIAN mate.
Chris: So did he pull her?
Mark: fo shizzle my nizzle

I think the second definition is from England...just a guess. I simply believe that the word ruffian should be brought back in everyday language. That's all I'm sayin.

Of Pugs and People I Adore

Today has been a smashing day so far. Probably because I had breakfast with Rachel right by the beach. Talk about living the life.

But even if you took away the beach and the restaurant, I realize how lucky I am to have a friend like Rachel. There are some people in your life that no matter what, you just stay friends.

I don't mean to make this post extra gushy...but I'm simply commenting on how important it is to have good, loyal, interesting friends in your life. What I admire about Rachel: she's not fake and she tells it like it is. Also, she doesn't mind being weird with me. People need to embrace their weird sides.

Rachel and I have known each other since 2004. The picture of us (above) is circa 2005. That's why I look so...different.

She is the friend that I lived with for 2 years (you gotta like the person to be able to do that!). She is the friend that used to doodle with me in English 220 when we ultra bored (we scribbled pictures of each other on stripper poles and drug dealin'...hehehe). She is the friend that bonded over the Yip Yip Martians with me (brrrrrrrrrinnnnng!).

I have a feeling that Rachel and I will be buddies for a long ass time, because she is the type of friend that puts in the effort. And she and I will always have our pugs (inside joke).

Sorry if I've embarrassed you Rach, but sometimes I enjoy being sappy!

If you wanna check out her blog, click here.

Snap Back to Reality

Hello reality. So nice to see you today (not really). It was fun waking up at 6 A.M. after 2 weeks of not having to. Yeah, thanks for that present. You are much, much too kind.

Coffee is not helping me right now!!

Oh, and funny story. Yesterday, I go to mall to pick up a calendar I saw two weeks ago (I waited until now to get it cause I knew it would be half-off). Guess who I run into? J. Yes, the one and only. Talk about sufficiently awkward conversation/side hug. The whole time I was looking at him (while also not looking) and thinking to myself "Why did I ever find you attractive?"

He made some dirty joke about the James Dean calendar I was getting, then proceeded to crack another lame joke, "You know he's dead, right?" Well hardy har har. Mostly I rolled my eyes at his attempt at humor. Finally he got the hint that I was not thrilled to see him and left.

It's ok, James Dean is worth the awkwardness.

Another back to reality realization: I'm done with the Twilight series. I read it all over the 2-week break. That's over 2500 pages in a 2-week span!!!!! I didn't know I could read so feverishly. It helps to have random free time on your hands. Plus the books are not mentally challenging, by ANY means.

What will I say about the whole series? Same as what I said about the first book. Mindless fun for chicks. What else can you expect from a book about vampires? You can't take that crap too seriously. Although, sad to say, it's been my world for the last couple of weeks (it's so easy to get lost in books). And now I'm in the real word again. Wakin' up at 6 am. No hot vampires in my world.

Dammit.

A Mighty Fine 2009?

Sorry for the rhyming. I'm being cheeky.

I won't make any assumptions on how this year is going to go. We always hope every year will go swimmingly. Of course, the past couple of years have been more challenging than not for me. So how about a bit of break this year?

Eh, I'll take it all in stride, anyway. With each growing year comes growing resillance.

So, here are some pics of how my year has started off with a bang so far. Again, here's to a year of boldness.

Two of my favorite girls in the world.


Dancing around to "Billie Jean" somehow resulted in a picture of us trying to do a Michael Jackson-esque pose. Trying.


No New Year's Eve is complete without a kiss...er, kind of.