5.31.2009

Baptismo

The two places where I get my best ideas/have my best thoughts are in the shower, and driving.

How great that I was driving home tonight from church and it was drizzling. The best is a light rain at night that makes the air super crisp and fresh. I always feel really lively when it rains.

And as I was driving home, I felt immense joy overtake me. This is the kind of joy that can only come from the spiritual realm. Sometimes I think it is hard to explain spirituality without sounding like a crazy person. But all I can say is I feel uplifted. Like I could take off floating in the air, and hold up the middle finger to gravity. What's great is, I feel this way often.

And I'm glad I have this. This life, this heart, this mind, this moment. I would ask for no other.

With the rain, and the driving, and my God, it's all pretty damn perfect.

Toodles to Twitter!

I got rid of my twitter account. I'm simply posting this for those of my blogging buddies that are also my twitter buddies. hehe. We are still blogging buddies. BBF!

Twitter was getting unnecessary...was it ever necessary? I don't need yet another internet obsession clogging up my life. Facebook and Blogger do quite enough damage for me. So yeah.

5.28.2009

REUNITE!!!!!

IF YOU EVER LOVED SAVED BY THE BELL, YOU MUST WATCH THIS (I got this from Michelle) :



Jimmy Fallon, you are a genius for more reasons than one!

**CLICK HERE TO SIGN THE PETITION!

5.27.2009

To the Lonely-Hearted

America...oh dear America. You move way, way too fast. You're speeding at a pace that gives me a migraine. And America--you infiltrate my mind with images and paper-ring promises of happiness--all material emptiness that does not quench this inner thirst.

***

I was talking with some girls last night and I think we cracked the code on one of America's hugest problems. We have lost the idea of community. Whenever I visit Turkey, there are people all about at night: talking to their neighbors, chuckling and just enjoying each others company. It is a cultural dance that involves an awakening of the heart.

Cut to America and you'll find the nighttime to be lonely. Televisions are on and people have crashed from consuming far too much caffeine. But we have lovely houses, now don't we? And a new pair of shoes to boot. At least that will put a smile on our faces for a minute or so.

This is not to say that Turkish people don't watch TV or that Americans don't know how to have relationships; however, it is clear America is starting to miss the real point of life. We have become drones--void of passion and sincerity, just trudging through another day. Ask anyone who has been to lively places in Europe and then ask them why they found them lively. Because the people are alive.

And what have we replaced that community with? Boyfriends. And girlfriends. We hang out with one person for the majority of the week. We invest our heart and soul into one being. And when a break-up occurs, we are left completely distraught. We have lost our whole community.

I know that I am generalizing here. But it's not such a stretch to generalize America. We got lots of work to do! Look around and see all the lost, broken faces. They are the lonely-hearted.

But there are some Americans who have it right, who see past the fakeness.

I'm writing this here because I want you all to really think about this. Maybe to help me think of ways to make it better. It can be better.

There is a God, a Supreme Being that offers us more in life. And it can be so much better.

5.26.2009

Discernment

I'm learning to have a discerning heart. Not based on my own understanding of life, but based on God's vast knowledge--on his set of rules for life. Why try to live life by my rules? How silly, when the one omnipotent being that made me knows better. Why would I not consult him?

And yet I continually try to pull away from God's decrees. I get lost in the idea of the world, and the world consumes.

"And this deception I wear it like a skin" --Lauryn Hill

I want to separate myself from the world, and it's way of thinking. I want to adopt a way of thinking that will bring me true joy.

5.22.2009

Always a lot going on up there.

Oh thank the Lord it is Friday, and on top of that, Memorial Day weekend! This week has, for some reason, seemed super long and dragged out.

This weekend I have lots to do and lots of people to see. There are friends that have come into town, graduations, bonfires, oh my!

Tonight I am hanging out with Cutie with the Glasses, showing him Usual Suspects, because he has not seen it. And it is one of my faves (thanks to Raindog recommending it long ago). I like C.W.T.G. (short hand, haha); however, I am not sure if there is that "spark" there. Do you know what I mean? I can talk with him, he's funny and intelligent, and all of that. But, I feel like there's something missing.

But maybe it's me. And maybe it's always been me. Part of me wonders whether I have a fear of commitment, or if I'm just a really good judge of character of who fits right with me.

I feel like I've written this post before...and GOD do I over analyze! But if I'm going to put this nagging thought out there, I know I should put it here.

I know what you're likely to say..."Ashley don't over think it, you don't need to stress." And I understand that.

I guess, with all things, only time can tell. C.W.T.G. and me are not even "dating." There's just an interest right now and hanging out. And things are only gonna happen if they happen naturally, anyway.

Yeah, I know. I need to just shut off my brain.

5.21.2009

Idol Talk

I am quite surprised that Adam did not win American Idol last night. Although Adam was not my favorite out of the whole competition (Allison was), I think he deserved to win between him and Kris. I mean, COME ON, even Kris himself admitted that!

Anyway, I won't rant anymore about it. It's all a little funny. But I did want to show this performance from Adam that I really really liked. And I had higher standards going into the song, since I adore Sam Cooke. He can't beat Sam, but he did put a nice spin on the song:

5.19.2009

Cause I'm an Idiot, and I'm Your Boyfriend...

I love Jimmy Fallon. Love. I love that man-boy in all his awkward humor. Oh yesss. So, I played his song for a friend over the weekend, who said, "Wow, that was great! I never heard that before."
Never heard it before?!?

So here is that song, in all it's glory, in case you haven't heard it (random side note: Zooey Deschanel is in this video too, but with blonde hair):

Watch more Yahoo! Music videos on AOL Video

5.18.2009

Four Stars, For Sure

I saw two great movies over this past weekend (both older releases)...I gots to share them with you!

The first one I'm pretty sure the majority of you have seen: Girl, Interrupted. It was a unique, outstanding, brilliant movie. And I always end up loving Winona Ryder. Why is she so great? If I were into chicks, pretty sure she'd be my type.

The second movie I am more stoked about, because I watched it this morning. ha. It's called Run Fatboy Run. If you haven't seen it, you need to. The plot is not necessarily unique; in fact, it's fairly predictable. But that's not a bother. Because the beauty of this movie is in the details. The humor is flawlessly executed. I was crackin' up! And this movie has real heart. I couldn't help but saw "awwwwwww..." during many scenes. And guys, take note, this movie is a unisex film. You'll love it as well. RENT IT!

Besides those two four-star movies, I had a four-star weekend.

On Saturday, I went to little Isaiah's game. He was stoked that I was there, which made me smile. These kids were so small, they hit off the tee and didn't even keep score. Can you say cute? Scratch that, it's freakin' adorable. Wish I could adopt that kid, but I'm pretty sure his parents would miss him.

On Sunday, I went to the Getty Museum in Los Angeles! Fantastico! How can you go wrong with some Monet, Degas, Renoir and Van Gogh? Can you tell I love impressionism? I spent 5 hours at this place. There was tons to see. I also got a kick out of seeing the antique furniture from the 1600-1700s. That stuff is ballin.'

Cutie with the Glasses went too. I'm still trying to figure him out a little. I like spending time with him, but I'm not sure if I can see us together. I won't date someone until it's clear that I should date them. But again, I over-analyze, so I'll just let it alone. When things are right, I'll know.

Anyway, like I said, four-stars. I can't complain. I'll just sit back and eat some popcorn and enjoy the view.

*Forgot to mention: I got that summer camp job. Yay for getting a tan!

5.15.2009

Overgrown Children, the Whole Lot of Us

I took a break from reading High Fidelity from when I started it a couple months ago...but I have resumed.

Can I just say Nick Hornby is a brilliant writer? I love this passage from the book:

None of us is young anymore, but what has just taken place could have happened when I was sixteen, or twenty, or twenty-five. We got to adolescence and just stopped dead; we drew up the map and left the boundaries exactly as they were.


Basically, that is dead on. And I see it everyday on the playground working with kids. Battles, fights, wars that you've swear you've seen on the nightly news acted out by adults. "I've got the better toy" turns into "I've got the better car" as we age. It's all silly, it's all childish. We are overgrown children.

Yeah, I'll admit that we've matured a little. We've become supposedly smarter, read more books by world-renown philosophers, and contemplated the meaning of life. But when it comes down to the essence of a fight, in the heat of the moment, we a act almost exactly the way we did when we were 5.

Another example: this little boy Isaiah invited to me to his baseball game this Saturday, cause he really wants me to come see him play. He's one of my favorite little boys ever, so of course I am overjoyed by this request. But why else am I happy? This little boy is including me. He's inviting me to his "birthday party," so to speak. You never wanted to be the kid that wasn't invited.

I'm not a psychologist, but this stuff is not too hard to figure out. And it all makes me laugh a little. And makes me feel crazy for ever thinking I am an actual adult.

5.13.2009

Adventures of Ashley and the Creeper

Two nights ago, I was at a cafe, and this emo looking boy sitting at the next table turns to me and stares right at me.

Obviously, I'm a bit creeped out, but I avoid eye contact and continue chatting with my friends. Then he leans over and asks, "Do you dye your hair?"

I answer, "Umm...yes."

The guy, whom I shall call Creeper, replies," Oh. Well what color is it naturally?"

Me, getting frustrated: " A little darker."

Creeper: "Well, I used to be a blonde, but I dyed my hair black. Does it fit me?"

Me: "Uhhhhh, sure."

Creeper, holding up a hand to wave: "Ok, well bye then."

WTF?!? Like, what the hell was that? The most disturbing thing was the severity of this guy's eye contact, like he was trying to steal my soul or something. You can't have my soul, creeper!!!

The last time I had an awkward convo like this was when some chick asked to take a picture of my eye.

I attract weirdos sometimes.

5.11.2009

Space, the Final Frontier...

STAR TREK WAS AWESOME!!!!!

Maybe I am biased, since I used to watch Star Trek with my dad as a kid, but seriously it was AWESOME! I usually don't comment on graphics in a movie, but these graphics were outstanding.

And Spock is a baller, nuff' said.

Oh, I am nerd and proud of it!

New things happening in my life:
  • I'm finally moving out. Oh man...it's been almost a year since I moved back in with the parents. Time to say goodbye again! July 1st I'm moving into a house with some good friends of mine. It's a nice house, and the rent is decent.
  • I had an interview this morning for a summer camp job. I believe it went well. It'll be a good break at the beach (yep, literally on the beach). And I'll be working with more kiddies.
  • I'm taking the CBEST in June. Thus my work towards becoming a credentialed teacher beginnith. I've heard horror stories about this process. We shall see if this is the path I want to take for sure. For now it's a go!
Life is...a set of taking chances, and figuring out which way to take. A guess and check process, if you will. It is sometimes annoying, sometimes exciting.

5.08.2009

What a Mighty Good Man

Have come to the conclusion that I could adopt the two cutest little boys at my work, never marry, and be completely content with that. Because I'm pretty sure husbands are more work than kids, so can I just skip that step?

Hehehe. All I'm sayin' is...I don't need a man. They are good for somethings, but I don't need 'em.

That's a good place to be, I think. And yeah, I'm diggin' on Cutie with the Glasses, but that's all it is so far...I will not be one of those girls that lets a man dictate/run/control her every thought and life.

Besides, there are two little kindergartners that have my heart.

5.06.2009

So Sad That I Never Knew

A coworker recently suggested Jeff Buckley to me, based on the music I like now. I had never heard of him before. Dude, he is honestly amazing. His songs are a menacing blend of pain and other-worldliness. You can literally feel the heartache in these songs...

I found out that Jeff, in fact, died in a drowning incident.

If you were unaware of Jeff's greatness like me, take a listen and tell me what you think:

5.05.2009

The A in Ashley is for Awesome

A short post.

Cutie with the Glasses sent me a text message yesterday that simply said:

Ashley...you are awesome.

I will not try to dissect this a million different ways (because chicks totally do that). But I will take this compliment and realize that there might be a little something there. I'm interested in this guy, and I like this path...a slow but rewarding path. I really like being patient. After not being patient (and careful) with my heart's desires for J, I really got burned.

There ain't no rush. Let's see if he thinks I'm worth waiting for, and vice versa.

5.04.2009

You think you's a wise guy?

This past month I've had three people tell me I'm wise, and a strong girl. And they used those exact words.

Wise? Seriously? I don't often feel wise. And I've made some pretty dumb ass decisions. I think I just must give good advice, cause I'm not so sure all my actions have reflected wisdom.

And strong? haha, not sure about that one.

If I am either of those two, it is because I've learned from the past. And when I learn from the past, I REALLY learn. I don't repeat the same mistake twice. Nahhhh-uhhhh.

Anyway, whether or not I can believe those compliments, I am still flattered by them. *blush*

This weekend was great weekend. I had no real plans, so everything was kinda spontaneous. This lead to ending up at an awesome beach bonfire where we played Ultimate Cabbage (yes, you heard right) and watched some fireworks going off at Sea World next to the beach. I always love those fireworks that are gold and sparkly, and look like they are raining down magic dust to the earth below.

The next day, I kid you not, I went to a hippie fair at Balboa Park. I've been to a hippie fair once before--the Summer Solstice in Santa Barbara. And when I mean hippie fair, I mean vegan food, long flowly skirts, grown adults dressed as fairies, "Zen" booths and the like. So maybe it's not officially called "Hippie Fair 2009" or anything. But close enough. Why be PC about it?

Overall a good weekend with conversations about spirituality and life. I am...refreshed. Just realized I sound like a hippie. Go figure.

5.01.2009

Cause you're the only song I want to hear.




Where soul meets body, indeed.

DEATH CAB ROCKED!!!!!!! It's the one concert I've been to where the band sounded the most like the album...Ben is a great singer...and a great writer...well, he's just GREAT.

Can I say much more? It's too hard to put a concert into words...