Ashley's Steps for Getting Over Reverse Culture Shock (Step 2)

Continuning the series on how I've been getting over the reentry process into the United States...

2. Perspective

As I wrote about a few days ago, my friend's mom died. I hate that it takes something like death to give us a proper kick in the ass, but man...that's what it took for me. I realized how silly I was being to miss a city, a thing that still exists and I can still visit. I haven't lost anything really, I've just gained an experience--one that was invaluable and can't be taken away. 

I won't see my mom's friend again. At least not in this life. It's more final, and much more serious than me being mopey over a city. 

I figured out that I was fantasizing about London. But truth is, I had a hard time adjusting there too. I had many a boring night (probably during those bad winter months) watching TV marathons, just like I did in America. I had sad moments, moments of extreme homesickness in where I felt lethargic and depressed. Life was not all roses and rainbows while abroad, so I've learned that I shouldn't paint that inaccurate picture.

Make sure that while you are getting over reverse culture shock you keep a little perspective. You haven't lost something, you've gained something grand. There's nowhere else to go but forward. 

L.A. Day

I've been spending more time than ever in Los Angeles; at least, more time than I ever used to. I've somehow been enjoying "Smell-A." (A term of endearment, guys). I think it has to do with coming back from London--a huge metropolis--and craving a little bit of that metropolis feel! Although sketchy in some areas, L.A. has some fun parts to it:

 Standing by sections of the Berlin Wall. It seems L.A. owns a few pieces. Very Trippy.

Pasta Chic.

The ceiling of El Capitan Theatre. 

 Famous light installation art at LACMA.

 The Guys.

 Levitating Rock.

La Brea Tar Pits. 

Who knew there were so many culturally significant and beautiful things in L.A.? Although the tar pits still grant me permission to call it "Smell-A." 

What I've Been Waiting For

source

So the performance was a little out of sync (ahem) probably due to weight gain, old age and a huge time lapse since they were last together. But I'll forgive that since I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!! It's funny, because someone sent me an article today about how there is no further plans for a reunion, this was the only night. I laughed after reading it because...duh. Justin has vehemently refused such a notion of an actual reunion in the past. He is the Michael Jackson of the group and has no plans to regress.

But OH MAN, was it special to see them on stage for a night! My inner teenybopper is overjoyed; so much so, that I may or may not have been listening to *NSYNC songs non-stop since this event.

And oh yeah, they're STILL the best boy band, hands down. 

Saying Goodbye to Mrs. Keaton

My friend Ali's mom always resembled Diane Keaton, so Mrs. Keaton was the easy nickname I gave her. She adopted it with open arms, insisting that I always call her Mrs. Keaton from that day on.

Talking about someone in the past tense is always strange the first time around. Mrs. Keaton passed away this morning--something I found out through a sad, but brave phone from Ali. I had just seen Mrs. Keaton a few days before this news, so it was extra weird to hear...like it couldn't be true, like I had misheard.

Unfortunately this information can't be unheard or undone. And such is life.

But what a life to know--one full of warmth and quirkiness, with a hippie spirit. She will always be that flower child who had enough soul to dig Marvin Gaye.

Ali, my Ali...I hope you find some peace tonight knowing that your mother loved you so dearly she treated me like another daughter simply because I was your friend. I hope I can show you half the love she has shown you. And so, her hippie soul carries on...through you.

And to Mrs. Keaton, one more Marvin song for the road. Who knows, maybe you get to see him in person in that great rock concert in the sky...

Ashley's Steps for Getting Over Reverse Culture Shock

Oh, I'm going through it. London is in the rear view mirror, and instead of staring at it longingly like a lost little puppy, I know it's time to move forward. Admittedly, I am someone that has a hard time of letting go. And so, I thought I would write a series on returning home after living abroad. In hopes of helping others dealing with the return, as well as helping myself! Onto step number 1...

1. Talk to Other Ex-Expats

This tip has probably helped me the most. There's something really comforting in having a comrade; they are a fellow soldier waging the battle. 

Take my friend Theresa, who lived in Japan for 3 years before returning to the States. I'm pretty sure I've hit her up for advice (too) many times since getting back. I specifically seek Theresa out for an afternoon beer sesh, because she doesn't get mad at me for complaining about missing the expat life for the 900,562 time! I always fear that I'm talking my San Diego friends ears off when yammering about London. Theresa doesn't mind her ears being talked off. She understands. 

Furthermore, there's something really cathartic in talking it out with someone who's been there and lived your frustrations and sadness. Human connection and all that jazz. I suppose this tip sounds obvious, but it's extremely important to seek out those people who have lived abroad. Chances are they've experienced the same depths of sadness you're feeling right now. And they offer better advice than anyone else can offer. They even excuse your moodiness. 

Hmmm, maybe I can start a support group of ex-expats (with beer, there should always be beer).

In Sunny San Diego

This will be like my Around London Town posts, but with San Diego. This is in an effort to appreciate what I do have whilst I'm in my I'm terribly missing London phase.

This is what I've been up to in the land of endless sun...

 Drinking craft beer, which San Diego is a leading city for! We rival the likes of Portland, and dare I say it? Belgium! Above is a brewery with a cool logo, St. Archer's.

Eating Bulgogi fries. Looks gross. Tastes AMAZING. Thank you, Koreans! 

Attending a best friend's wedding. I will have more photos later, but here is a snapshot of the cake topper the bride's mom hand made! 

 Finding Mario. 

 Watching my sister's kitty. 

 Forcing my friends to stand by signs like these. Why do they stay friends with me? 

Beachin' it up as much as possible! (this is actually a picture from Santa Barbara, but you get the point)

Hey Cali, I guess you're alright! 

Dissertation, finito.

*throws microphone off stand and walks off the stage like a true gangsta*

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I swear I watch Orange is the New Black for legitimate reasons, too.

Because my brain is turning into mush from finishing up my dissertation, and because I have the personality of a teen with a more experienced/wiser mind (which really just means that I still get girl crushes but also enjoy reading books on philosophy), I give you this fluff post that has no other intention but to lighten the mood.

I've (rather quickly) finished the first season of Orange is the New Black. While I can go on for hours about how the show is provocative, witty, addictive and gritty (yes to all), I'm not going to. I'd rather you tell you about Officer John Bennet and how his smile makes me melt (and here teen Ashley makes her appearance).

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I might be too old to get girl crushes on TV characters, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one finding themselves attracted to the slightly awkward, adorable mix that is Officer Bennet (it's the best mix, right?). And it's the best kind of relationship to have right now, as I am too busy job-hunting and and finishing up schoolwork to go on an actual date with anyone. It's like I'm 14 again, and I don't care!

So bring it on, Bennet. And please keep smiling that adorb smile that makes all the girls go a little weak. It might be the *only thing* keeping me kind of sane right now.

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Oh, and readers, don't judge me. 

On to Happier Days

It's been about a month since I've been back in the USA and away from London. Things have gotten better--in that, I'm having good days and appreciating the sun. Every now and again, I get a pang of sadness over London and an urge to hop on a plane and head back over.

This is a good thing, this pain I'm feeling over leaving. It shows that I had a year of love, extreme growth, community and fulfilment. We're always the saddest over saying goodbye to the things we love the most. Sometimes, I shed a few tears over the people I left behind, people that made me smile and laugh and really appreciate the very best of London. Laura and Dave, my two closest friends abroad, I surely miss the most. I wish I could phone them up and meet them for a pint at pub quiz. It's heartbreaking not to be able to do so...but I soldier on, knowing I'll see them again someday.

I think the thing to gather from my year abroad is that we, as people, are never really stuck. I was having the worst year before I left for England. I then spontaneously applied for grad school abroad. My worst year was thus followed by my best year yet. It won't be the last 'best year yet,' because I'll always remember that it was my doing. I changed my circumstance and I made that amazing year happen. God gives us the power to do such things; we are never imprisoned unless we choose to be.

My future is my choice. If I choose to stay in California, I'll have a beautiful life here. If I choose to one day go back to London, I'll cherish my time there. It's not too "rose-colored" to think in such a positive way, because I already made it happen once. I am a realistic dreamer. I make my dreams happen in a realistic manner.

To London, I'll love you always, and I know I'll see you again. And with that, it's time to start moving on...on to happier days. 

Favorite Thing Thursday

A few of my favorite things...

1. Wine and Pizza Night With Pals

2 Buck Chuck! 

One-and-a-half bottles of cheap wine, pizza from Target (God, I missed that store), arugula salad and good company provided the first night I felt normal since I've been back.

2. Justin Timberlake Concert (Twice is Nice)

Got DOWN at the Justin/Jay Z Tour, even fighting the rough L.A. crowd. I ended up loving the tour so much, I promptly bought an overpriced ticket for the next solo Justin tour. I spent an absurd amount on a ticket, but I'll be within 20 rows of the stage, and I can say without hesitation that it will be worth it!

3. Getting Call Backs for Jobs

It seems (almost) having a Masters is making job hunting a little easier. As of right now, looks like I'll be staying in San Diego. This is an idea I am starting to warm up to.